Losing
by The Cold and Careful Lady
Summary: Severus Snape may have loved Lily Evans, but she never loved him back. She was destined to be with James Potter and his eternally-messy hair. Here are the times that Severus Snape lost Lily Evans to James Potter. J/L, unrequited S/L. Rated T for a scene of violence and mild language


The first time Severus Snape knew that he was going to lose Lily Evans, he was twelve years old. It was Valentine's Day of their second year, and he was due to meet up with Lily before dinner. On his way to the Great Hall however, he heard voices floating from around the corner. One was the melodic voice of Lily, and the other he couldn't place. Severus crept to where he could see the two figures talking.

"So what did you ask me to meet you here for, Potter?" Lily asked skepticism evident in her voice, though no spite was present.

"Just wanted to give you this, Evans." Potter handed her a red rose. "Happy Valentine's Day."

Lily was blushing, quite shocked. "T-thank you. Happy Valentine's Day to you too."

Potter shrugged and walked off into the Great Hall, turning back and flashing a smile to Lily before going. When Severus caught up to Lily, she was standing still, her fingers trailing over the tops of the rose petals.

"Lily! Ready for dinner?" He asked nonchalantly, trying to act like he hadn't just seen what had happened.

"Hmm?" She shook herself out of her reverie. "Oh, Sev. Yeah, sure. Dinner."

Not mentioning the flower, the second years walked into the Hall for dinner. As they spilt, Severus saw Lily smile at Potter, and he smiled back. That was the first time Severus Snape lost Lily Evans to James Potter.

* * *

The second time Severus Snape knew that he was losing Lily Evans; they were in their fifth year. He was talking with her about going-ons at Hogwarts, when the subject of James Potter and his friends came up.

"Honestly Sev, they aren't _that_ bad! I mean sure, they can be a bit arrogant, and the targetization of certain individuals via their pranking can be a bit cruel, but overall they are pretty nice guys."

Severus thought he had momentarily hallucinated. "Pretty. Nice. Guys! Are we talking about the same people?"

"I would assume so." Lily said coolly, one red eyebrow arched. "I study with them on Wednesdays. Each of us takes a subject and leads the discussion, questions, and practical work. It works very well, and I get along with them quite nicely. My Transfiguration grade has even improved substantially. James is ver-"

"Since when do you call him James?" Severus looked as though he was about to have a heart attack.

"Since we started studying together. Now really Sev, you're overreacting."

"He fancies you! Potter fancies you."

"I am aware." A small smile crept up on the corner of her lips.

"Do you fancy _him_ back?" His eyes narrowed into slits, glaring at the faint blush appearing on her cheeks.

"Oh, look at the time! I really must be going Sev. Goodbye!" Lily glanced at her watch hurriedly before walking away briskly.

"Lily! You didn't answer me!" He called after her, but the effort was futile. She was long gone.

That was the second time that Severus Snape lost Lily Evans to James Potter. Two months later, their friendship would be no more, as Severus Snape would make a mistake, and James Potter would be the one there to comfort Lily Evans.

* * *

The third time Severus Snape knew he had lost Lily Evans; they were in their sixth year. He was walking back towards the school from the Black Lake, when he saw a rambunctious group heading exactly in his direction. It took a moment to see who the group was comprised of, but he soon recognized them as James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and…Lily.

If possible, she looked prettier than ever to him, and she was laughing loudly with the group of boys. Potter had his arm around her shoulders, and she would squeeze his side every so often. A fit of rage sprung up in him, and he strode determinedly towards the group.

"Ahh, the blood-traitors and the mudblood. Lovely sight we've got here." Severus sneered at the group of teens. Their expressions went from laughing to hard.

"Take it back, Snape." Potter's voice was like steel, cold and smooth.

"Not a chance Potter." Severus spat.

Potter released his arm from around Lily's shoulders and drew his wand, Severus already having taken his out. The two boys walked up to each other and circled like spitting cats.

"James, please, just stop. It's not worth it." Lily broke in from the sidelines. Both Black and Lupin had a hand on one of her shoulders, keeping her back from jumping in.

Severus turned his attention to Lily. "You know what they say about you, mudblood? You're too close to this scum. There are bets placed on how much you're making for each roll in the sheets. Then again, you _are_ a mudblood. I suppose you've learned your place." All five boys turned to look at the girl, who had gone shock-white. Severus turned back to his opponent, eyebrow arched.

The fury on James Potter's face was enough to make Severus wince, but he slipped the façade back up. Severus threw the first spell, and after that light darted across without pattern. The boys blocked and dodged, shooting out spells all the way. Severus however, had the last word when he shouted out "_Sectumsempra_!"

The red light hit Potter on the side, his Shield having just been taken down, and the taller boy collapsed to the ground, blood seeping out of the newly-forming gashes. Lily, who was being restrained by Black during the duel, broke free of his grip and scurried to Potter's side, placing her hands whenever new spots started to bleed. She was hissing Healing spells left and right, crying all the way. Potter was gasping in pain, and Lily, _his Lily,_ was muttering to him softly. The other boys went to fetch Madame Pomfrey, and Lily, Potter, and Severus were left alone in the waning afternoon light.

"You are a monster, Snape." was all that Lily choked out as she continued tending to the boy that Severus hated most.

That was the third time Severus Snape lost Lily Evans to James Potter. It would not be the last.

* * *

The fourth time Severus Snape had lost Lily Evans to James Potter the three were in their seventh year. Potter had (of course) been named the _bloody_ Head Boy, and Lily had finally reached her goal of becoming Head Girl. The downside of this: _his Lily_ and the arse Potter shared a Common area. That git would be by her all the time. The worst part about everything was the fact that Lily seemed to enjoy the prat's company.

The year continued, and the worst thing that could possibly happen happened. Pratty Potter asked Lily out again. And she. Said. Yes. Severus was crushed, and took out his rage on any passing first year that happened to exist.

One night, around eleven o'clock, Severus was skulking around the halls of Hogwarts, just clearing his head, when he heard the coming footsteps. Ducking into an alcove, he listened to the voices that started drifting around the corner. It was, of course, Lily and Potter. They seemed to stop, and Severus eavesdropped on the conversation, inching his head to peek out of the small space, to where he could just see the couple in the torchlight. Lily looked so pretty, standing there. The fire made her hair look like copper… Severus was quickly roused out of his thoughts by Potter.

"Oh, Lily, what was that you wanted to talk about earlier?" He inquired.

"Hmm?" Lily shook herself from admiring Potter. "Oh! That. Well, I was just wondering if you wanted to come over sometime over break. To, you know, meet my parents and such… Petunia will be there as well, along with her horrid fiancé. Mummy and Daddy have been wanting to meet you for a while now and well…" She rambled nervously.

"Lily," Potter laughed. "Breathe. Of course I'll come meet your parents. I would be delighted to meet your family."

She smiled brightly. "Wonderful."

"Ah- but one more thing, dear." Potter smiled.

"What…" Lily trailed off suspiciously, though she was being ignored. Potter was looking around the hallway before he pulled out his wand.

"This place needs to be fixed up a bit." He smirked, winking at her. Potter flicked his wand, said a few words, and moved his wand about before he was finished. "And, there."

At Lily's gasp of surprise, Snape looked at the corridor instead of the faces of the people there. There were flower petals floating down from the ceiling, and perfume floated through the air.

"James…" Lily arched an eyebrow. "What are you…? Oh Merlin!" Potter was now on bended knee in front of Lily, and holding her hand. "I swear to Merlin, James, if you propose it will not be a yes right now. I love you, but I refuse to become engaged while still in school."

"Just let me finish?" Potter laughed. "Dear, dear, Lily. Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to the annual Potter's New Years Eve Ball?"

Lily laughed. "Well, of course, dear. But you made my question look pathetic."

"That doesn't really, matter, now does it? Because there is no one around to see."

She rolled her eyes. "I suppose that does make sense. Now, we must get back to patrolling. Let's go." Lily slipped her delicate hand into Potter's as they walked down the hall. Snape let out a deep sigh after their footsteps had faded away, his heart no less heavy than before.

That was the fourth time Severus Snape lost Lily Evans to James Potter. It would happen three more times after that.

* * *

The fifth time Severus Snape lost Lily Evans to James Potter was over Christmas Break of their Seventh Year. James had just met Lily's parents, and she had just sent him home from the woods behind the playground near her house. It had been an old spot of hers, and it was the place where she had first met Snape.

Unbeknownst to Lily, he had been watching her approach, and her farewell to Potter. Seeing if she would stay or not, Severus tensed to stand. When she sat down on the swings, Severus waited a few moments before walking from his hiding place. Lily turned at the sound.

"Fancy seeing you here, Lily." Severus said nonchalantly.

"Good evening, Snape." She said coolly. "And it is Evans, to you."

Severus winced. The last time they had had a conversation was in Fifth Year, when they were still friends. "E-evans? Really?"

"Yes. Evans. Now, what do you want?" Lily swiveled the swing around to face him, her expression stoic. "And if you're here about my choice of boyfriend then it is not your business."

"You said you hated him. Forever." Severus spit out.

"People change, Snape. You certainly are proof of that."

"He's still as arrogant as ever." Snape stepped closer to Lily's swing. "Potter is still the bigheaded git he always has been."

Lily twirled the swing back, standing up and facing Snape. "James is a good man. He's grown up. He's a better person than you ever will be." Her green eyes were narrowed into slits, and were like daggers into Snape's soul.

"He's a player, Lily. He'll see someone else and move on. Or he'll get himself killed." Snape shot back.

"I love him! Alright! And James loves me. He's met my parents, and they love him. My _sister_ even thinks he's decent. James calms me down when I'm angry, and sets me straight when I need to. He _understands me._ As a person." Lily sighed after she screamed her first few sentences. "I am in love with James Potter, and he loves me back, Snape, and you just have to accept that."

"You're being ridiculous." Severus spat. "You can't possibly be in love with Potter."

"My choice has always been him, Snape. From the moment that he gave me that bloody rose in second year I've had my eye on him. James's is just… He's so alive. He's vibrant, and passionate, and me makes me feel like I've never felt before. If you cannot accept that then I'm sorry. But we're headed down different paths, Snape. Goodbye." Without giving him a chance to respond, Lily Evans walked away from Severus Snape back to her home.

Severus stood there and watched her fade away into the darkness and snow. She was gone, and to hear the very words that he despised fall from her lips was almost too much to bear.

Severus Snape lost Lily Evans to James Potter for the fifth time on a cold playground covered in snow. The setting reflected her mood and his heart.

* * *

The sixth time Severus Snape lost Lily Evans was on Graduation Day. The parents were all to be waiting at Kings Cross station, and the graduates were enjoying meandering around the grounds.

It was their final dinner at the school, and everyone was talking and laughing, ready for summer to begin. It was just as all of the used plates started to disappear, James Potter stood up on the Gryffindor Table, and cast a Sonorus on himself.

"Greetings, Hogwarts. You all know who I am. Now, I have an announcement to make." He looked down at Lily, who smiled sweetly at him. Snape's heart sunk. He could tell where this was going, but he wasn't going to believe it until he heard the words. "As of…twenty minutes ago, I am officially and utterly taken forever." Many confused looks were shot in the git's direction, but he ignored them.

"To those of you who weren't in the know, that means that the lovely Lily Evans accepted my proposal of marriage, and has agreed to take on the name of Potter in the near future." Potter reached his hand down and helped Lily up onto the table as well, and gave her a searing kiss in front of the entire school.

Snape was disgusted by the display, and made a silent and swift exit. She had accepted his proposal.

On that Graduation Day, Severus Snape lost Lily Evans to James Potter for the sixth time in five years.

* * *

On a lovely day in March, Severus Snape lost Lily Evans to James Potter for the final time.

He watched the wedding from just inside the chapel doors; the young couple's happiness reaching everyone but him. Severus however, couldn't find it within his heart to be happy for them, even if it was what made Lily happy. Because Potter had Lily, and she was now a Potter too. And that was unacceptable.

Yes, Severus Snape had lost Lily Evans to James Potter on a lovely day in March, in a little chapel in Godric's Hollow. Once the "I do's" completed, the bonding sealed, and the kiss given, it was official. Lily Evans was now Lily Potter, and Severus Snape had lost the only woman he loved for the last time. He would be bitter about it for the rest of his life.

* * *

**AN: Thanks for Reading! (:**


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